It's interesting, how much you think you know growing up despite the fact that everyone tells you how you're brain isn’t fully developed. You always think, what do they know? They're not inside my head. They don't know what's up.
Then as you continue to grow up you start figuring out things that had never even crossed your mind to know or understand a year or two previous. Guess all those fools that acted like they knew what was going on in your head were kind of right. Only kind of.
As far as I know now, I’m fairly certain that I’ve always had a busier head than people have given me credit for. The gap of people’s perception of me and reality has slowly shrunk and continues to shrink, rightly so. As a child, ignorance truly is bliss. I remember at a certain age asking my mom if the number of people dying around me was more than usual or if it was normal and I had just been unaware all of these years. I had been unaware.
As a kid, of course you don’t think about the pain of others around you, world issues, or things like what the relationships with your friends, classmates, and family members are going to become. Then at a certain age you start to analyze things more and think about outcomes of the simplest actions. Things happen to you and you gain ethos, you start to know what it’s like for others around you because you’ve experienced some of the same things. Things like what dealing with death is like, what loosing and gaining new friends and new lifestyles is like.
I've always promised myself, that when I grow up I'm going to give kids the time of day. Despite how much I’ve learned even after my short 18 years of life, I feel I’ve always had a good chunk of ideas and thought in my mind. Even now, I have to stop myself from looking at a middle-schooler or underclassman and wondering if ANYTHING is going on in their brain. We all know and think a lot more than we give off. I need to remember that.
